Special occasions

The past two weekends we had opportunities to attend special events in the community; first a funeral, then a wedding. As part of our humanities class, we have to write nine summaries of/responses to such cultural experiences, and I thought you might like to hear about them…

Funeral:

Shortly before our group arrived in Zambia a fatal car accident occurred on the Namwianga road. A drunk driver catapulted over the side of a bridge, causing several of his passengers to be ejected from the vehicle. Two such passengers, including a fourteen-year-old boy, died. It was this boy’s funeral to which we were invited.

We arrived right on time, but in typical Zambian style, half an hour passed before the event began. The dead boy’s family is a prominent one in the community; therefore, out of respect, his body was delivered in a police vehicle. The car pulled right up to the side of the grave, where men from the community were waiting to lower the wooden casket into the ground. Once the vehicle left, people encircled the gravesite. On one side stood the men, and the women and children sat across from them. The turnout was spectacular; hundreds of people attended.

Throughout the ceremony people sang in Tonga. The burial took place simultaneously. First, several people tossed small stones into the grave. A piece of sheet metal followed, and then the dirt. About half a dozen men spent well over half an hour carefully and respectfully shoveling the dirt into the grave, forming a perfect mound over the casket. On top of the mound a broken plate and cup were placed; Zambians believe that if one takes his dishes with him, he will be prepared for the afterlife and thus will never need to return to earth. Flowers were also placed on top of the mound. Specific groups of people; including cousins, classmates, teachers, and elders of the surrounding congregations; were invited one at a time to present the flowers. Before dismissal, a couple of men made speeches to encourage the community.

Overall, the funeral was not what I was expecting. First, I did not expect so many people to attend. The support from the community was overwhelming! Second, the people there were calmer than I anticipated. I was told that screaming, wailing, and convulsing are not uncommon at traditional African burials; we saw no such thing. Finally, the impact Western civilization has had on the local people shocked me. Many were dressed in American clothing, carrying cell phones, and driving cars, and it reminded me of what a huge role model my society is to the world. I hope that the African traditions are not lost in the midst of Westernization.

Wedding:

We spent our second Sunday in Zambia celebrating the marriage of a young couple, Daphne and Eugene. This wedding, like the funeral we had attended the previous weekend, was very Westernized. Many Western practices and traditions were employed. They did retain certain African traditions, however; for example, much of the wedding contained choreographed dance. Also, while the wedding guests were joyful and excited, the bridge and groom remained solemn throughout the ceremony to symbolize the seriousness of their commitment to each other.

The wedding began well over two hours after its scheduled time. Guests sat in rows facing the aisle, with the bride’s family to the right of the stage and the groom’s family on the left. The ceremony started when the groom stood up at the front of the auditorium and a techno version of Amazing Grace began playing. Three young boys and three little girls entered from the back of the auditorium, dancing up the aisle to their positions on stage. Once they reached their destinations, the bridesmaids and groomsmen (called “attendants” by Zambians) entered from opposite sides of the room, dancing toward each other until they met in the center of the aisle. From there they danced to the back of the room, from which they preceded the bride up the aisle. In the midst of all this, wedding coordinators were supervising; they gave cues while dancing right along with the wedding party!

The ceremony itself followed a very western outline. The parents of the bride gave her away, a short message was spoken, unity candles were lit, and vows were exchanged. Eugene had a ring which he placed on Daphne’s finger, and he kissed her on cue. At the end of the ceremony everyone proceeded to the high school in town, where the reception was being held.

The reception was much like the ceremony; lots of choreographed dancing took place. A grandmother, the wedding party, the children, and a boy bearing the knife to cut the wedding cake all danced up the aisle at their appointed times! When the Zambians liked a dancer, they would dance out onto the floor as well and place Kwacha (Zambian money) in the dancer’s pocket. Between dances, speeches were given. During these speeches the guests paid almost no attention; they talked, listened to music, and answered their phones. It thought it was very disrespectful, but none of the Africans seemed to care! Towards the end of the reception, guests were offered Cokes and dinner, and anyone who so chose could dance. When the ceremony was over, as the bride and groom left the building, people threw money into the air!

As was described, the Africans have adopted many American wedding practices. I did not expect this. However, what surprised me the most was the showiness of this wedding. Even American weddings are not so performance-oriented. I found it interesting that such a flashy wedding took place in such a modest society. In a way this disgusted me, but at the same time it was good to see the Zambians place so much importance on a wedding. It certainly reinforces how deserving of respect marriage truly is.